


pretty lover, you're the only one for me

by bbbbbbbenrey



Series: big love [1]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward First Times, Come Swallowing, Cunnilingus, Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Hair-pulling, M/M, Not A Game AU, Not Beta Read, They/Them Pronouns for Benrey (Half-Life), Trans Benrey, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, ok time for the nsfw tags, theres a lot of dialogue im sorry in advance, trans porn written by a trans author, uh tell me if anything else needs to be tagged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbbbbbbenrey/pseuds/bbbbbbbenrey
Summary: i swear to you, i'd die for you, inside of you.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Series: big love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916308
Comments: 12
Kudos: 215





	pretty lover, you're the only one for me

**Author's Note:**

> hello hlvrai fandom take my extremely self indulgent poorly written nsfw fic. just wanna say ive never written nsfw before but i tried.
> 
> title is from "suck it up" by she wants revenge, highly recommend giving them a listen!

It'd been three months since Benrey 'moved in' with Gordon.

'Moved in' wasn't really the best choice of wording, as Benrey had actually broken into Gordon's house at 3 am and nearly set his kitchen on fire, but they were basically roommates now despite that.

And, surprisingly enough, those three months hadn't been absolute hell for Gordon.

Benrey wasn't the worst houseguest to have around. Sure, they didn't do dishes, or help around the house at all for that matter, but they didn't exactly trash the place either.

They were still an asshole, of course, but at least they weren't actively trying to harm Gordon. In fact, their assholeness had died down a little into a more playful banter sort of thing. Gordon heavily preferred that to them straight up harassing him over his fucking passport.

That didn't prevent Gordon from getting pissed the fuck off sometimes at the ex-security guard, though. It seemed like Benrey purposely tried to rile him up over so much shit, and Gordon wouldn't put it past them for that to be the case.

This night was no exception. 

Gordon and Benrey had gotten into the habit of having game nights every week. They would sit on the couch- although Benrey purposely liked to hog as much of it as they could, forcing Gordon to get squished at the very end of the couch- and play video games while Benrey lightly trash-talked Gordon. They had played a variety of games, all ones that Benrey had chosen, and tonight they were playing Hyrule Warriors. An odd choice, at least for Benrey, Gordon thought. He didn't know Benrey was even into Legend of Zelda games. He didn't know a lot of things about Benrey, now that he thought about it.

They were currently on the character select screen, controllers in hand. Benrey had made Gordon get a Nintendo Switch around a month ago, along with pro controllers for them so they could have the 'max pro epic gamer experience' as Benrey had said earlier. Benrey was stretched out on the couch, as usual, of course causing Gordon to get squished to the side. Gordon was lucky Benrey was so small. If they weren't, they probably would have taken up the entire couch and forced Gordon to sit on the floor. Not that Gordon would let them do that, but they sure were stubborn sometimes and definitely would try to convince him.

Benrey stared at the screen intently as they chose their character, and Gordon chose his promptly after. Benrey let out a scoff.

"cringe, bro. can't believe you- you'd play fuckin', uh, dragon man," Benrey remarked as they went to start up the level. Gordon rolled his eyes at that.

"Oh, shut up. I've never even played this game before, let me try some characters out." Gordon paused." Besides- dragons are cool!" He added, a little defensively. 

"mmnhg. yeah but he's not," Benrey replied nonchalantly. The game was starting now, and Gordon just hoped Benrey would get focused enough to shut the fuck up for once.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, man."

As the game went on, Gordon did come to regret his choice of character, but he wouldn't admit that to Benrey. Benrey, of course, was absolutely owning at the game, while Gordon struggled a bit. This wasn't really his type of game, as it turned out.

This caused a relentless amount of trash talking from Benrey. More than usual, Gordon noticed. And it was pissing him off.

The level took a while, around 20 minutes, but they eventually completed it. With an aggravated sigh, Gordon set his controller down. Benrey glanced at him.

"woow. dumb lil feetman already worn out? not very. super poggers bro," Benrey said.

"That's not even how you use that word Benrey."

"wh. huh. wdym." Benrey said the letters of 'wdym' out loud instead of saying what it actually meant. "i think- think you, uh, don't know what poggers means. fake gamer."

"That's not even a gamer term!" Gordon retorted defensively.

"fakkkkeeee gamer. idiot lil gordon doesn't- know shit about video gays. haha." Benrey didn't even bother with laughing; they just said 'haha' out loud.

"Do you ever shut up?" Gordon asked, his gaze shifting over to Benrey. Benrey snickered in response.

"can't shut up when there's uh-" Benrey paused, their eyes glazing over as they seemed to zone out for a few moments.

"When there's-?" Gordon tried to prompt them to continue, which caused them to snap back to reality and shoot Gordon a quizzical look.

"huh? whuh?" They tilted their head. Gordon groaned and shook his head, dismissing the conversation. 

"Nevermind. I'm going to bed, I've had enough gaming for tonight," he stated, moving to stand up, but suddenly Benrey was moving too and they were draped over his lap, looking up at him.

"noooo, bro. we gotta beat the.. the game. throw frags n' shit," Benrey whined. Gordon stared down at them with an exasperated look on his face.

"We can continue later, Benrey," Gordon told him. "Can you get off my lap?"

"no. make me, idiot."

Gordon was sick of Benrey's shit for tonight. He swiftly picked Benrey up, throwing them over his shoulders. They were incredibly light, more light than anybody should ever weigh, but he assumed that was due to Benrey's inhuman nature. This immediately caused a string of rude remarks and protests from Benrey, but Gordon refused to put them down. Gordon knew they could quite easily get out of his grip- he'd seen how strong they truly were.

Gordon quickly headed upstairs, making his way to the guest bedroom and opening the door. In one swift move, he dumped Benrey onto the bed, who landed on their back.

"what the- fuck, bro. at least- uh, at least take me out to dinner first."

Gordon raised an eyebrow at first, not quite getting what Benrey meant, but it quickly kicked in and brought a light blush to the physicist's cheeks as his face twisted in embarrassment.

"Oh my god, Benrey- that is not what I was trying to do here-"

Benrey's expression looked almost disappointed for a second. "it's not? cause like, bro, you're kind of like a lil, lil gayman right now- not even saying no homo, not even- you know i don't even need sleep bro wh-"

Gordon sighed as Benrey spat out a bunch of shit he couldn't be bothered to keep up with.

"Benrey, c'mon, man."

"-umb lil, can't, no passport-"

"Are you still going on about the passport shit?"

"-doesn't even kiss me first-"

"If I kiss you will you shut up?"

Benrey stared at Gordon, mouth slightly agape for a few moments before they managed to speak again. "uh- maybe. gonna have to. come and find out."

"Nope. Not doing it unless you promise me to shut up for the night."

"please?"

"Promise and I will."

"mnn. nahneahhhm. stupid chicken head feetman-"

"Benrey." Gordon's voice was loud and stern, and he noticed Benrey shiver a little.

"yyes sir~" Benrey spoke in their valley girl esk accent, and Gordon rolled his eyes.

He leaned over Benrey's small but wide frame, planting a gentle kiss on their lips. It lasted for only a second before Gordon quickly pulled away.

"booo. we hate your kisses."

"Benrey," Gordon's voice was low now. "You said you'd shut up if I kissed you."

A smirk crawled onto Benrey's lips. "guess i lied. that must be super sucks for you bro. wanna kiss again? to make it better?"

Gordon wasn't quite sure what overcame him at that moment, but with an annoyed huff, he leaned right back in for another kiss. This one was longer, though. It was rough, but it felt oddly nice at the same time. Gordon felt a hand gently travel up his arm, stopping to rest on his shoulder, and he gradually began to deepen the kiss, until-

Oh god, what the fuck-

Gordon yanked himself away from the kiss, furrowing his eyebrows as he wiped at his mouth. Benrey had fucking sweet voiced into his mouth. The taste wasn't bad- it was bittersweet, which Gordon liked-, but it had caught him majorly off guard. He glanced down at Benrey, who still had orbs oozing out of their mouth, face flushed. Gordon wasn't sure whether that was from the kiss or embarrassment. Maybe both.

Gordon took a moment to observe the colours before they faded away. Mauve to ruby, maybe? What could that even mean? Gordon had learned a wide variety of meanings from Tommy over these past few months. He had learned the subtle differences between colours, as sometimes Benrey would only communicate in sweet voice, but he'd never seen this one before.

"What the fuck-" 

"don't go." Benrey's voice was soft, almost pleading. They were leaning further upwards now, using one arm as support and the other to tightly grip onto Gordon's arm. "didn't- mm- can't help it," they attempted to explain, fidgeting with their fingers by pressing in and out of Gordon's skin. It hurt, somewhat, but Gordon let it slide. The orbs were still flowing out of Benrey's mouth, popping when they hit the ceiling. 

Gordon let out a sigh. Why was he even doing this?

That was a dumb question. He knew exactly why. The past few weeks had been a little... off. Benrey was more touchy and affectionate towards Gordon, to which Gordon didn't always know how to react. Sometimes Gordon returned the affection, as platonically as he could. Other times, he brushed Benrey off. They were constantly asking for kisses, which Gordon always passed off as a joke. Regardless, there was an evident romantic tension in the air that Gordon actively chose to ignore.

Now, though, it was hard to ignore when they had just kissed, twice now, and Benrey was spewing out colours that Gordon could only guess the meaning to.

"Ok. I won't," Gordon replied. Benrey's eyes slightly widened at this, and they shifted. They had an unbelieving look on their face as Gordon gently pried their hand off his arm and climbed onto the bed, settling down next to them.

They locked eye contact for a moment before Benrey quickly glanced away, shades of pink and blue escaping their mouth before returning to the previous mauve and ruby. Gordon furrowed his eyebrows.

"What's that mean?" Gordon piped up.

"means i hate you," Benrey quickly responded. Gordon rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time today.

"No, it doesn't. A lot of blue means 'I hate you.' Tommy taught me."

"woooww. gettin- uh, gettin' tommy to give you cheat codes?? loser. should learn 'em by yourself," Benrey muttered, crossing their arms.

"I'd get them myself if you'd tell me the actual meanings!" Gordon retorted. His loud voice made Benrey flinch, and that caused a slight frown to set in on Gordon's face. He tended to forget how sensitive Benrey's hearing could be. "Sorry-" He quickly apologized. "But really. What's that mean?"

There was an air of silence between them, and it was only getting tenser by the second. Gordon shifted uncomfortably. "I mean, if you don't wanna tell me, you-" He was interrupted before he could even finish.

"means you make me horny," Benrey deadpanned.

Well, Gordon certainly wasn't expecting that.

"Oh, I-" Gordon paused and furrowed his eyebrows. Was Benrey fucking around with him? More importantly, how the fuck was he supposed to respond to that with words?

He wasn't, he quickly realized. Instead, he leaned in for yet another kiss, pushing Benrey back down as he shifted so he was on top of them. The kiss was rough, even rougher than before, and extremely heated. Benrey nipped at Gordon's lips, light enough not to hurt Gordon of course but hard enough to elicit a reaction from him. In one swift move, he had Benrey pinned down, holding Benrey's wrists together above their head. Gordon briefly pulled away from the kiss to catch his breath.

That's when Gordon realized they were actually doing this. Benrey wasn't joking around- they were dead serious. If they didn't want this, they could easily get out of his grip. He gulped and stared down at Benrey, a blush dusting his cheeks.

"So- uh-" Gordon started, but hesitated. He wanted to make sure they were sure before he continued, of course, but he also felt a bit awkward. Were they moving too fast?

"whuh?" Benrey's voice was light, almost breathless, and to Gordon, it felt like hearing angels sing, though Benrey was certainly no angel.

"You-" Another gulp. "You sure about this Benrey?" 

"yeah, 'm, sure as- as uh. uhhhhhh-" Benrey seemed to zone out for a few moments as they tried to think, and Gordon just sighed.

"Don't even finish that." Gordon shook his head. "Ok. Ok, uh, you want this to be vanilla, or, ahah-" Gordon felt like he was making this awkward, and that he was taking too long, but goddamn, he just wanted to make sure Benrey felt their absolute best during this, especially if they went all the way.

"wh- no that's cringe." Benrey paused, and Gordon sensed hesitance coming from them. Maybe they were feeling just as awkward as he was right now? It was hard to tell with Benrey, sometimes. "i mean- unless you- wanna?" 

"That depends. Are you.. ok? With me being kind of rough?"

"totally chill with that gord-" Benrey stopped themself short. Gordon chuckled lightly. "do- like, whatever. as long as its not a cringe fail gamer move. you make a lot of those so you'll probably do another one. really uncool of you fee-"

Before Benrey could finish up their sentence, Gordon crashed his lips back into theirs with a desire unlike Gordon had ever felt before.

One of Gordon's hands trailed down Benrey's body, the other still holding their wrists together tight- he was worried that it would hurt them, but Benrey didn't seem to mind, so he kept his hand there. His other hand ended up at their hip.

"You sure?" Gordon asked again, breaking the kiss, though he had a feeling that the answer wouldn't change.

"bro- you tryna- tryna, uh, ruin the moment? knew you'd do a dumb lil- lil idiot gamer move-"

Gordon groaned, rolling his eyes, and moved his free hand to tug down Benrey's shorts and boxers.

He had never been quite sure of what Benrey had down there, nor did he care all that much. Benrey had never fully disclosed their identity to him, and he never felt the need to ask. He had noticed Tommy always used they/them pronouns for them, so he had simply adapted to that, and Benrey seemed content with that. Besides, it wasn't even his business.

Except, it was now, he guessed. And he was somewhat surprised when he noticed Benrey didn't have a dick- they had a cunt. His surprise was evident enough on his face for Benrey to remark about it.

"what? never- never seen one of these before? haha, gay little feetman probably doesn't even-" Benrey's sentence was cut short by Gordon leaning down and running his tongue along Benrey's slit. Gordon heard them inhale sharply, and he smirked.

Gordon now moved his hand to spread Benrey's legs for him, while he began to tease their cunt, using his tongue lightly and occasionally pressing into their entrance. He felt his cock twitch at the soft gasps Benrey let out, and he realized that he was enjoying this much more than he expected, because fuck, he was getting really hard really fast.

Another realization quickly dawned upon him. Benrey had said he could 'do whatever'- and he promptly decided he shouldn't take those words for granted. He wasn't quite sure what Benrey was comfortable with, but he was willing to take his chances.

Still teasing at Benrey's cunt, he moved his hand up to grab a fistful of Benrey's hair at the back of their head. He was sure lucky Benrey had such full hair- and really, really soft hair, at that- as that gave him a lot to grab hold of. He yanked back, holding their head back and causing a whiney moan to escape from Benrey's throat.

They kept at that for a while, until Benrey began to grow impatient and whiney.

"g-gross little feetman. can’t even- a-ah- no balls to eat, mmme out-" Benrey managed to say through their moans.

Gordon brought his head back to look up at Benrey, who was already a blushing and panting mess. Who knew just teasing could do this much to them? They let out a needy whine at the sudden loss of contact.

"Is that a challenge, Benrey?" Gordon spoke firmly, and they shivered at that. Gordon was quickly picking up on what Benrey liked, and god if that didn't make him feel powerful, he didn't know what did.

"gonna, have to find out. i guess. take on that gamer challenge of the week. new on playstation, uh- weekly gamer challenges."

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" Gordon replied in an exasperated tone.

"uh-"

Gordon let out a low groan. Benrey was lucky he had a lot of patience; otherwise, he'd probably had flipped them over by now and fucked them into tomorrow.

"Fuck you, Ben," Gordon mumbled as he put his head back down and started to eat out Benrey's cunt. He started slow, but hearing Benrey moan and squirm because of his touch was really sending him over the edge.

"y-yeah, bet you- aah, you'd like to? h-huh? gay a-ah,ass?"

Gordon took only a moment away from eating Benrey out to retort back, "I bet you'd like me to, hm?"

That shut them up for a little while, and with a triumphant smirk, Gordon went back to eating Benrey out.

"ffffuck, gord-" Benrey stopped themself from finishing his name with a loud moan, and Gordon swiftly pulled his face away, letting go of Benrey's wrists and hair.

"wh-" Benrey started, but paused when Gordon grabbed one of Benrey's wrists and coaxed them off the bed and instead onto their knees on the floor. Gordon swung his legs over and tugged his own pants down now, freeing his throbbing erection from his boxers.

"o-oh-" Benrey gulped.

"What? Never seen one of these before?" Gordon said in a mocking tone, referring to what Benrey had said earlier. They looked almost offended at that.

"whuh? of course i have, idiot."

"Yeah? You ever sucked one?"

Benrey opened their mouth to respond but quickly closed it and reluctantly shook their head. Gordon let out a low chuckle.

"How long has it been since you've even done this kind of stuff?" Gordon inquired with a tilt of his head.

"never- uh. only seen videos. so. yyeah." Benrey was clearly flustered, and Gordon loved every second of it. He'd put up with Benrey's stubbornness for so long that seeing them like this was a nice change.

"Well, I mean, that's ok. Just- do what you see in.. videos. I guess." Fuck, was he making this awkward again? This was obviously Benrey's first time doing anything with another person, and their first time doing stuff together, so he just wanted to make sure Benrey was comfortable with everything.

"uhuh. uh- ok. got it gggord. gordo."

Gordon squinted at Benrey in slight confusion.

"Can you just- hurry up? You're gonna make me go soft, man." Gordon said, and Benrey quickly nodded.

They moved with an apparent hesitance. Gordon wasn't sure what was going through their head, and he wasn't sure what he could say to ease any of their nerves either, so he decided to keep his mouth shut and let Benrey figure it out for themself.

Benrey spit on their hand, then began to stroke Gordon's length, their touch light and gentle. They were conscientious about their long, almost claw-like nails, Gordon noticed, and that brought a small smile to his lips.

And then, they began to lick at Gordon's tip, to which he responded to with a pleased grunt. They trailed their tongue down and back up Gordon's cock, then wrapped their lips around the head, finally beginning to take him in.

And God did Gordon love the view he was getting.

Benrey was so intently focused on giving Gordon the best blowjob they could. Their eyebrows were slightly furrowed, and their hair had become even messier than it usually was. They began to bob their head, and low moans escaped Gordon's throat.

Fuck, Benrey was better at this than Gordon had anticipated. They didn't seem to have any gag reflex, so they were able to take all of Gordon in, slowly advancing from their moderate pace to a much faster one.

But seeing Benrey like this was also awakening something in him. They were being so obedient, which was a stark contrast to their usual stubborn self. Gordon felt the strong urge to take even more advantage of this than he already was.

Gordon grabbed fistfuls of Benrey's hair with both hands, and Benrey's eyes slightly widened. They glanced up at Gordon, and he could see the confusion and slight anxiety in their eyes, and it made him hesitate for a moment. Too bad he was too into the moment for that.

Gordon bucked his hips, eliciting a gasp from Benrey. Benrey's fingers desperately searched for something to grab onto as Gordon kept thrusting into his mouth, slow but gaining pace, and they found their fingers digging into Gordon's thighs.

Gordon let out a slight hiss, and as payback for the brief moment of pain, he thrusted as deep as he could into Benrey's throat. Benrey's eyes rolled back in their head, and one of their hands shakily let go of Gordon's thigh.

Gordon watched in slight curiosity as Benrey brought their hand down, still having their mouth thrusted into with as fast of a pace as Gordon could go, moaning around his length, and began to stroke themself.

Gordon allowed it, for a short while, until they rubbed a finger at their entrance and slowly pushed in. They were only able to get about halfway in before Gordon removed one of his hands from their hair and grabbed their arm, stopping them. They glanced back up at Gordon.

"Did I say you could do that?" Gordon growled through gritted teeth.

Benrey whined around his cock in response, and god, the look in their eyes nearly sent Gordon over the edge. He was close to climax, so grabbed back at Benrey's hair, yanking their head back and going all out. 

Gordon came with a loud groan, ceasing his thrusting and panting heavily. He stared up at the ceiling as he felt Benrey gulp, swallowing all of his cum.

"Holy fuck, Benrey," Gordon breathed out as Benrey retracted their lips from his cock with a wet pop. He glanced down at Benrey, who was an absolute fucking mess.

Their face was so heavily flushed, and tears were pricking at the corners of their eyes from how rough Gordon had been going. Yet, they didn't seem upset in the slightest. Their eyes were blown wide, and they had this look of obedience on their face that made Gordon feel like he was going to go fucking crazy.

"C'mere." Gordon motioned up onto the bed. He needed a few moments to recover, but they sure as hell weren't over just yet. Benrey nodded, and stood up, climbing onto the bed next to Gordon. They glanced from his cock up to Gordon himself and bit their lip.

"Suddenly speechless, huh?" Gordon joked, and Benrey stuck their tongue out at him.

"no, just, uh- you, mm, you're lucky."

"I'm lucky?" Gordon raised an eyebrow.

"yeah. didn't bite your dick off. could've been so easy. coulda just, y'know, done a lil chomp with my epic gamer chompers. and it would've been gone. poof."

"...What." Gordon had not expected that kind of response from Benrey, but then again, Benrey was always saying weird shit that surprised him.

"you heard me. don't wanna- why you makin' me repeat myself bro?"

"I'm not, that just-" Gordon's eyebrows furrowed together. "I wasn't expecting you to say that."

"haha. cringe little feetman don't know- can't even predict what his good ol pal Benrey is gonna say. reaaaaallly not poggers bro."

"Benrey. Ben. Benny." Gordon put a hand on Benrey's shoulder, and he watched as a bit of pink and blue slipped past their lips. They started at him like a doe in headlights. "You're not using the word 'poggers' correctly."

"whuh?"

"It's not-" Gordon squinted, trying to think of how he should word this. "It's when something's exciting, I guess? You use it when shit's all about the hype, man."

"....that doesn't make any fuckin sense bro."

Gordon let out a groan, dragging his had across his face dramatically. "Y'know what? Misuse poggers all you want. Just don't get pissy when you get clowned on for it."

Benrey blinked, staring at Gordon as if he were an alien, to which Gordon slightly shook his head at and retracted his hands from Benrey's shoulders.

"uhh. b. bro?"

"What?"

"we gonna finish? or you- you just gonna leave little benny unsatisfied huh? you gonna make me suck your gamer cock and deny me any pleasure?"

Gordon internally cringed at the user of 'gamer cock', but that thought was quickly overrun by the realization that fuck, they hadn't finished and Benrey still wanted to do this.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? I bet you'd loooove being pushed around and shit. Being told what to do."

"huh? so what if i do. you got- you got a problem? with that? homophobe???"

"Benrey you literally just sucked my dick-"

"what was that HOMOPHOBE?? i couldn't hear you. couldn't- uh, not over the sound of my fat gamer cheeks slappin. together."

That just made Gordon bend over in laughter, holding his stomach.

"Oh my fucking god Benrey-" Gordon wheezed out, while Benrey stared at him, visibly confused.

"wh.. huh? don't do that bro. didn't- you're ruining the viiiibbeesss mannn.."

"Hold on, hold on, I-" Gordon cut himself as another laugh came out of him. God, none of this was going according to plan at all, yet Gordon found he didn't mind that much. He was enjoying this- all of it.

"bro stop. you're being so- super cringe. rn."

"I'm sorry, Ben-" Gordon wheezed, and with a heavy exhale leaned back up and locked eyes with Benrey, a grin on his face.

Benrey stared, their pupils wide, almost like a cat, Gordon noted. That's when Gordon finally started to get back on track with what they were doing.

Leaning down, Gordon planted a kiss onto Benrey's lips, which they gladly melted into. Their hands gently gripped onto Gordon's arms, thumb rubbing at his skin. The touch was rough, and Benrey's long nails were poking into Gordon's arm, but it was still... nice. This was nice. Gordon almost wanted to just stay like this, but Benrey began to pull at Gordon's shirt, their hips rolling on the bed. Ok, yeah, maybe they should go at a bit of a quicker pace.

Gordon grabbed Benrey's thighs and lifted them onto his lap, not bothering to break the kiss. He didn't want to nor did he need to yet. His hands trailed down Benrey's skin, from their thighs to their ass, and god, if it wasn't hot as fuck having Benrey moan into his mouth as he squeezed, he didn't know what was.

Benrey nipped at his lip, and Gordon pulled away briefly, leaving a trail of saliva connecting them. Benrey's eyes were lidded as they stared into his eyes, and Gordon's breath caught in his throat for a moment. God, their eyes were pretty. He spoke again.

"There's no going back from this, y'know," Gordon's voice was low, almost warning, and he felt Benrey shudder against him.

They rolled their eyes, but their lips were curved into a smirk. "if i wanted to go back by now, i would've."

Gordon wasted no more time with talking. He pushed Benrey onto their back, now holding their thighs up around his hips. They draped their arms around his neck and leaned in for another kiss. Gordon gladly connected their lips.

Gordon loved the feeling of Benrey's grip tightening around him as he ran a finger along their slit, then slowly slipped it in. Benrey was fucking hot, and their cunt tensed around his finger. They moaned into his mouth as he began to push in and out. Gordon broke the kiss for a moment to get a good look at Benrey, and seeing them like this sent a spark right down to his cock. He began to speed up the pace, growing even more impatient than he already was.

Adding a second finger seemed to be a slipping point for Benrey. "fuuck-" they breathed out, and Gordon quirked an eyebrow.

"This really all you can take, Benny?" He teased, beginning to stretch his fingers out in their cunt. Their legs tightened around his hips, and they groaned. 

"fuuuck youu, st-" Whatever else Benrey was going to say was cut off when Gordon craned a finger right into their g-spot. They moaned, and they were fucking loud. Gordon wondered for a moment if he could make them scream.

After a bit longer, Gordon added a third finger. He found himself loving the feeling of doing this to Benrey- feeling their cunt pulse around his fingers, them occasionally bucking their hips up as an invitation to fuck them harder.

But, he noticed he liked looking at Benrey more. Seeing their eyebrows furrowed together, head thrown back and eyes hooded as they moaned and squirmed beneath him was a breathtaking sight. Gordon wouldn't mind seeing it again.

Gordon slipped his fingers out, and Benrey whined at the loss of contact, rolling their hips in an attempt to get some sort of friction with Gordon.

"Wait."

"what the fuck do you mean 'wait'??" Benrey practically hissed out, and Gordon shot them a sharp look.

"I don't have any condoms-"

Benrey blinked. They stared at Gordon for a few solid moments, eyebrows still knit but now in confusion.

"dude. i’m infertile," Benrey stated as if that should've been obvious from the beginning. There was a few moments of silence before Gordon spoke up.

"...How do you know?" Gordon just had to double-check. He didn't want to risk anything. 

"been on t for years, gordos. plus, can’t even get knocked up by a human." Gordon tilted his head, so Benrey added, "it's an eldritch thing."

"Right. Got it." Gordon let out a soft chuckle and finally positioned himself in front of Benrey's entrance. Before he pushed in, he gently grabbed one of Benrey's hands and guided it from his neck onto the bed. Benrey was confused until Gordon interlocked their fingers and leaned in to lock them into a kiss before slowly pushing into them.

Benrey's breathing hitched in their throat as Gordon pushed in all the way. They squeezed his hand, nails slightly digging into his skin.

Gordon had done this kind of stuff many times before, but this was Benrey's first time, and he wanted to make sure they were ok. He didn't move yet, letting Benrey get adjusted and waiting for a signal from them.

After a few sharp deep breathes from Benrey, they nodded at him, signaling that it was ok for him to start moving.

It was a little hard to move at first with how tense and tight Benrey was around him. He leaned forward slightly and let out a hot breath right against Benrey's exposed neck, then nipped at it. They shuddered in response.

"Relax a little, will you?" Gordon whispered against their skin in a slightly joking manner.

"trying-" Benrey responded through clenched teeth. "you're fu-uckin' big, dude."

Gordon bit back a chuckle as he began to move slowly but consistently, making sure to keep a close eye on Benrey so he'd know if they were ok. They seemed fine so far- their eyes were rolled back staring at the ceiling, letting out soft moans and whines, nails digging into Gordon's hand but not hard enough to cause concern. Once their grip loosened a little, Gordon began to pick up the pace, causing Benrey to get louder.

Gordon was loving every second of this. He loved the feeling of Benrey hot and pulsing around his throbbing cock, their cunt practically sucking him deeper. He loved seeing them all hot and bothered yet clearly in so much pure bliss that they looked like they were seeing stars as he pounded into them. He loved hearing their moans turn into screams as he thrusted against just the right spot, listening to the little whimpers that escaped their throat. He loved Benrey.

He... loved Benrey. That was a shocking realization that came to him right as he came inside Benrey- a realization that he pushed to the back of his mind as quickly as possible. Benrey's thighs clenched around him and they let out shuddering breaths as they came as well, fluids dripping down their cunt onto the sheets. Gordon made a mental note to wash them later.

He pulled out with a low groan, unlocking his hand from Benrey's and flopping next to them, face flushed and panting heavily.

"Holy fuck." Gordon's voice was airy and hoarse as he spoke.

"nah, kind of a devil fuck if you ask me. especially because it was a gay fuck. super not holy up in here."

Gordon blinked, then turned his gaze to look at Benrey. "I-" He paused, then let out a wheeze of laughter. "I mean, sure, that's one way to put it?"

Benrey let out a soft chuckle. There were a few moments of silence between the two, Benrey simply staring up at the ceiling while Gordon admired them.

"dude. my legs are shaking like there's a fuckin, uh, earthquake down there."

That remark only wrought out another wheeze from Gordon, who slightly shook his head.

"Yeah, Ben, that happens sometimes. Get used to it."

Benrey finally turned their head to look at Gordon, staring at him with the most gorgeous bright blue eyes he'd ever seen.

"get- uh, get used to it?"

Gordon opened his mouth to respond, but the implications of what he had just said quickly dawned on him and he promptly shut it, instead switching to a different topic.

"C'mere," Gordon said, gesturing closer to himself. A heavy blush dusted Benrey's face, but they nodded, scooting towards him and cuddling against his side. Gordon draped an arm around Benrey and gently held them as close as he could.

With the two right up against each other, Gordon had a moment to take in just how small they actually were. Gordon was well aware that they could shape shift, so he wondered why Benrey chose to be so small.

Cupping Benrey's cheek gently with his free hand, he took a moment to admire them. In this moment, they were the most gorgeous person Gordon had ever laid his eyes upon. Speaking of eyes, their eyes were definitely the prettiest in the world. Their eyes were a cool, icy blue, and their sclera seemed to have somewhat of a yellow tint. It was a slightly odd combination, but it definitely suited them.

Gordon moved his hand and tucked some loose strands of hair behind Benrey's ear to get a better look at those eyes. In doing so, he had a moment to appreciate just how soft Benrey's hair was. It was jet black, with a pale blonde streak running through on the left side. Their hair was down to their mid-back, and Gordon wondered how they managed to keep it so nice looking, despite it having so many tangles and rats nests.

Gordon shifted, running his fingers through blonde strands of hair. His finger's caught on a few tangles and knots, but he tried his best to avoid those. Benrey glanced at his fingers with a curious gaze as he did so.

"This a birth mark or something?" Gordon asked.

"huh? no. uh-" Benrey paused. "um- dunno. just- always been there. can't get rid of it."

Gordon hummed thoughtfully, not taking his gaze off the hair. "Even if you could, I wouldn't want you to get rid of it. I like it."

"i don't."

"Why?"

Benrey furrowed their eyebrows and shifted their gaze away from Gordon, gripping onto Gordon's arm tightly. Gordon winced.

"Sorry- sore subject?"

"kinda. it's just- bad reminder. y'know?"

Gordon didn't know, but he didn't want to push Benrey. They weren't really the type to share, and this was no exception. Gordon hoped they'd be comfortable enough to open up to him one day, but from what he'd learned from Tommy, there was a high chance that wouldn't happen at all.

"Hey. Look at me."

Benrey locked eyes with Gordon once more, and Gordon's lips upturned into a smile.

"You're gorgeous, ok? Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't."

A blush quickly swept across Benrey's face at the compliment, and they hid their face againsr Gordon's side. "shut uppppp bro. that's so cringe."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Gordon mumbled, resting his hand on the back of Benrey's head. "You obviously liked it though," he added in a slightly teasing manner.

"shut."

"Ok, ok." Gordon let out an airy chuckle.

"no more talk. g'night," Benrey mumbled, their voice slightly muffled since they were still pressing their face against Gordon. He chuckled, and ran his hand through their hair one more time.

"Goodnight Benny."

**Author's Note:**

> might write more frenrey nsfw in the future but it depends on how well this is received. i have ideas but idk. anyways hope yall enjoyed
> 
> also! just want to say you absolutely CAN get preg on t! the only reason benrey cant is because theyre not human, so their biology isn't compatible with gordons. and they were also informed by their doctor that they wouldn't be able to (like many trans people have been informed, including myself) and theyve stood by that belief.


End file.
